It Came from the Screen

Greetings from the darkness, my dear horror fiends. It is me, the Count, writing from Macabre Manor (as always). I’ve been time traveling recently, jumping from decade to decade as I view these horror movies, and I recently landed in my favorite decade for horror: the 80s! There’s something special about those wonder years of terror, and I’m not just talking about the fashion sense!

This time I took in 1985’s The Stuff. And let me tell you right now, enough is never enough when it comes to the Stuff. Except, when it comes to watching this movie, there is a point where enough was enough. You know what, that’s a little harsh, maybe. But we’ll get there when we get there.

To put it in the most straightforward way possible, The Stuff is about killer yogurt/ice cream/white desert…stuff. As they ask at the end, “are you eating it, or is it eating you?” But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What’s The Stuff really about? Well, these workers find some bubbling white stuff coming out of the ground, a bubbling crude (wait, that’s the Beverly Hillbillies).

Instead of reporting it to authorities or the FDA, they do what all of us would do: they taste it. After a while, the white stuff (Weird Al song reference) is marketed as The Stuff and it’s all over the country. It’s replacing all other desserts as the most popular dessert in America. Enter former FBI agent/industrial spy David “Mo” Rutherford. He’s hired to figure out just what the secret of the Stuff is. Spoiler alert he does/doesn’t. Very talented to do both. Meanwhile, a kid named Jason finds out about the Stuff, and goes nuts trying to stop everyone from eating it.

Mo also meets Nicole, the marketing executive who made the Stuff famous, and “Chocolate Chip” Charlie, a disgruntled chocolate chip tycoon who was put out of business by the Stuff. You would be forgiven if, at some point watching this movie, you forget that these characters are here and/or wonder just why they are. Mo and co. (trademark) eventually hook up with Jason, and the team is set to destroy the Stuff. They find out the Stuff is a mind controlling parasite…or something. It’s as confusing as the stuff is tasty (but is it gluten free?!)

Mo heads to a Georgia Militia (this is the act of the movie that things really get out of control) and convinces its leader, Col. Spears, that America is under attack, BY COMMIE DESSERT. Well, kind of. Then, basically, chaos ensues until the rest of the film. Actually, this whole film has been chaos. It just totally embraces it by this point.

This film was written and directed by the recently (2019) departed Larry Cohen. Cohen was known for writing and directing a bunch of movies and TV. Some of the movies that he was best known for were It’s Alive, Maniac Cop, and Q the Winged Serpent (another 80s movie we’ll take a look at some time). His works were often known for containing satirical elements (hey we’ll get to that in a second, too). As I said he also worked on TV, including shows like The Invaders.

Michael Moriarty played “Mo” Rutherford. Why do they call him Mo, you might ask? Well, he’ll tell you in the movie. Moriarty was known for his roles in the early seasons of Law & Order, Pale Rider, and once again, Q the Winged Serpent. Among lots of other credits. He was definitely the anchor of this film. Partly because of his acting, and partly because he’s one of the few main characters I actually remembered was in this movie for the course of its run. Andrea Marcovicci as Nicole (no last name), the ad executive and love interest for Mo. Their relationship starts about ten minutes after they meet. She was in some movies and TV (mostly stuff I’ve never heard of) like Kings and Desperate Men, Someone to Love, and The Hand. She was also a singer and a magician, because like I said, she disappeared for most of this movie.

The above mentioned “Chocolate Chip” Charlie (who possessed lethal fists of iron) was played by the one and only Garrett Morris. Morris was an original cast member on Saturday Night Live, from 1975 to 1980, as well as the Jeffersons, and even as recently as 2 Broke Girls. He’s had a long career, but I hear he didn’t like to talk about this movie, which is a shame, because he was one of the best parts. There’s also Scott Bloom playing the kid Jason, and this was his first role in a movie! He was also in Who’s the Boss? Which is a question that I never got the answer to and I’m getting tired of waiting!

Lastly there’s Paul Sorvino as the militia leader Col. Spears. He was also in Law & Order and let’s just say that there’s way too many movies to list here that he’s been in, and he’s still working. There are a lot of other characters in this movie, but We’ve covered all the important ones. The rest are just Stuff fodder.

Now, while the stuff is a crazy and chaotic movie, and somewhat loosely put together, it does have a message at its core. It takes a wild look at consumerism and marketing. You might think it’s actually about cocaine, because it’s all about the white stuff that drives people crazy, in the 80s, but it’s not. Is it?

The whole premise of the Stuff is about a product that is blindly consumed by millions of Americans, and it has little to no testing and no one knows exactly what’s in it or where it comes from. Its consumerism gone rampant. It also bashes you over the head by having the Stuff destroy people from the inside out. But sometimes we need a good bashing! Maybe this was Cohen’s look at the cigarette and alcohol industry (did I think that, or did I read that somewhere? I can’t tell what’s real anymore!) It looks at corporations, giving us a few scenes behind the curtain of the Stuff production while somehow managing not to answer any real questions. Now THAT is a magic trick.

It also looks at advertising in a critical light. Throughout the movie there are a bunch of commercials for the Stuff (hence the catchphrase “enough is never enough of the Stuff” which is actually a really catchy jingle). Marketing can get anything over if given enough money and the proper angles. Hey, we saw the same thing, but to a much less successful degree, in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

Let’s not forget to talk about the Stuff itself. What a movie monster. The thing about the Stuff is it can basically do whatever it needs in order to serve as a monster. It can grow, in can suffocate, it can invade your mind and make you its fleshy slave. I don’t know, I didn’t make the rules for the Stuff, and neither did Cohen, because there are no rules for the Stuff! I was impressed with some of the effect that they pulled off, and I kind of like this creature, because I have a soft spot for Blob creatures.

This movie has earned its cult status. It’s whacky, it’s fast, and it’s unusual. It had the feel of a B movie and as wild, crazy, and unhinged as this movie turns out to be, I thought it was a fun watch. Mix that with a satirical message about 80s America and consumerism, there’s actually some stuff to the Stuff! It’s a wild ride, but if you want to see some premium 80s horror, you won’t get enough of the Stuff!

Well, join us again next week as we delve back into the darkness. Who knows what we’ll find that may just go bump in the night!