It Came from the Screen

Greetings from the darkness, horror fiends! It is I, the Count, typing away as fast as I possibly can to bring you entertainment. And boy, do I have something for you this week. Today we take a look at the wild ride that is Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. And before you get on me too much, YES, this is a comedy. But it’s also a parody of horror movies and a B movies. So I thought it was well within my rights to talk about this flick. Plus, it’s my blog! I hate to pull that card, but I have to justify watching something like this anyway I can.

Released in 1978, the film goes a little something like this: Tomatoes begin to attack people across the country. It’s chaos as the fruits (yes, they are fruits, remember!) go ape on all that walks on two (and sometimes four) legs. The President tries to keep the country calm and while doing so, puts together a team of specialists to stop the tomatoes. This team is led by a man named Mason Dixon.

While the specialists are preoccupied, the President sends his press secretary to the same ad campaign agency that got him elected to try and come up with an anti-tomato campaign. Typing all of this is making my head whirl a little because the bridges from here to there seem a bit distant.

Meanwhile there’s the worthless senate subcommittee against the tomatoes and the reporter Lois Fairchild, hired by her editor to get to the bottom of the story and all its government secrets. Then there’s the masked assassin out to kill Dixon. So far, pretty normal stuff.

As all this is going on the Tomatoes continue to ravage the country, as does the hit song “Puberty Love” which can be heard playing all over the place. I don’t want to spoil the ending for anyone who might decide to sit down and watch this movie, but let’s just say Mason becomes a hero, ok? He figures stuff out. He says tomato, we say tamoto and everyone’s happy.

If you can’t tell by the previous couple of paragraphs, this is a chaotic movie. It’s got plots and subplots and cutaways to stuff that doesn’t really matter and it just moves all over the place. It starts going and doesn’t stop until the credits are over as the viewer is pelted with tomatoes and blasted with the Killer Tomatoes theme song. Yeah, it’s real, listen.

The thing about this movie is you have to know going into it that it’s not great. I mean just look at the title. You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but that may be impossible in this case. But if you go in knowing that it’s a horribly goofy late 70s (and probably drug fueled) spoof, you can’t go in expecting too much. I will say, however, there is some language and situations/concepts that were very much a product of its time and would not and do not fly today. So sensitive viewers be warned.

Now if you’re like me, you’re sitting there asking yourself, just how did this film get made? Who would produce such a thing? Look no further than the powerhouse that is John DeBello. He was one of the producers (along with J. Stephen Peace) and the director. He also helped write the screenplay and worked on the music, of which there is a surprising amount. There are about four musical numbers in this piece, hidden in there where you wouldn’t expect (i.e. anywhere). I get the feeling that this was a real passion project for DeBello because of his heavy involvement. He could have simply co-written, co-produced, directed OR wrote the music. But no, He did it all. The man must love his tomatoes. And he did it all with less than $100,000 (and it really shows) but honestly, there isn’t need for a ton of money or fancy production in this movie. If it were made today, there would be CGI tomatoes and it would be even worse than using real tomatoes somehow.

One thing to note about the budget: a sizeable chunk of the films cost was spent renting a helicopter. Toward the beginning of the movie, you see said aircraft crash. Well, this is not a practical effect, the helicopter really did crash on camera. Someone kept rolling and they used it in the film. It’s got to be the most expensive shot in the entire film and it’s about ten seconds long. I always knew the 70s were the wildest decade and this is one of those stories I use to prove it.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the script was also written by J. Stephen Peace and Costa Dillion. The whole concept is in fact credited as “an original idea” by Dillon. I’d love to have been in his brain, watch the cogs turning as he walked down the supermarket aisle, high as a kite, turning the corner and seeing tomatoes and thinking “yes! My big break!” I assume that’s how it happened anyway. But in case you were wondering, Dillon would in fact go on to work on the sequels of this movie. Oh yes, There were three more of these movies; Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988), Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! (1990) and Killer Tomatoes Eat France! (1991). And don’t worry dear horror fiends I WILL be covering those films in the future. For posterity. Or, for at the very most, I’ll watch them so you don’t have to!

I want to talk about the cast of this movie but there were just so many characters. How could they afford so many people in this picture? And why did so many of them think it was a good idea?!

First, we have David Miller as Mason Dixon, with his amazing 70s sideburns and fashion sense. Then George Wilson as Jim Richardson, the President’s press secretary. We also have Sharon Taylor as Lois Fairchild and J. Stephen Peace himself as Wilbur Finletter, who was no doubt the best character in this movie. He was a paratrooper. Kind of? With a sword? Anyway, he would return in the next two Killer Tomato movies and the people couldn’t get enough of him. Probably. There are a lot more people in here, but just trust me in saying that most of them weren’t really known for anything (or at least hyperlinked on Wikipedia!) So they get to live forever in the glory that is Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

This is a movie you have to be prepared to watch. It’s bad. But it’s also cult, which made it prime territory for this blog. Sometimes you have to take the good, the bad and the ugly all in one. Life is a hot dog sometimes, but make sure you don’t forget the ketchup!